


Bittersweet Chocolate

by WickedWonder



Series: Food Series [1]
Category: Boy Meets World
Genre: Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-16
Updated: 2002-07-16
Packaged: 2017-10-20 05:50:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/209440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickedWonder/pseuds/WickedWonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The beginning of the Food Series. Topanga finds something out she shouldn't about Eric.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bittersweet Chocolate

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hello. I'm Eric Matthews](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/3520) by tune youg. 



It was a typical day at Pennbrooke University. On campus, students were milling around aimlessly between classes, hesitant to go inside and miss the newness that only spring has. Cory Matthews and his wife, Topanga, were waiting inside the student union for their friends to arrive.

"I can't believe that we're almost done with our sophomore year," Topanga commented. "It seems like yesterday we were graduating from high school, and now our junior year of college is fast approaching. And three of the people we love are graduating!"

"True, very true," Cory replied distractedly, trying to nod sagely. His attention was focused on a couple fast approaching with eyes- and lips- only for each other. "How do you think Shawn and Angela walk like that?"

"Practice. Lots of practice." Topanga said decisively. She stood up and waved to them. Their two best friends sat down and finally broke contact.

"Well, Cor, big plans for summer?" Shawn asked.

"Shawny, my boy, the wife and I are planning to work! Non-stop work boy, that's me," Cory answered. "You?"

"I was thinking that maybe Angela and I might take a trip to Europe to see her dad. I have some money saved up, and we could stay with him."

"It looks like we're all going to be apart this summer," Angela said softly.

"Yeah. Rachel already said that she was going home. I guess Jack and Eric will have the apartment to themselves."

"It'll be a total pigsty by the end of the week. Not that it isn't now," Topanga allowed, "But I think that Rach is the thing that keeps the guys from being condemned."

"That's not true. I clean," Shawn protested.

"You clean as much as I sing," Cory laughed.

Shawn ignored this and said, "So, should we have an end-of-year party? Last time to all of us to be together for three months."

"We're in," Cory and Topanga said together.

"Great idea! We'll have it at their apartment, right?" Angela asked knowingly.

"But of course."

The group decided to meet over at the guys' apartment and plan further that night.

 

Rachel, at the apartment, was busily packing. She was humming out of time and tune, but still very happy because of getting to see her relatives. After meandering around the living room, she went into the room that Jack, Eric and Shawn shared to steal any clothes that might take her fancy. She didn't find any, but she did notice a slender book on the floor next to Eric's bed. She recognized the journal that Jack had given him last year. She was tempted to read it, but then thought better of it. After all, it was Eric. It was probably full of ducks or something like that.

 

The gang gathered at the apartment, as promised, to see what everyone wanted to do. They all agreed that they wanted food, but that was where communication broke down. The girls wanted to do something memorable to celebrate Jack, Eric, and Rachel graduating. The men just wanted to eat.

Finally Topanga, exasperated with the-back-and forth, said "Ugh! I'm taking five. Why don't we just hang out like usual?"

"I like it," Cory said, in the tone of one who has just discovered fire.

Soon, everyone was reminiscing about the year and telling stories about each other. Topanga stood up and wandered through the apartment. She spied an open door. Although she had been in the apartment numerous times, she had never been in the guys' bedroom. She cracked the door to see if anyone noticed that she was missing. They didn't, so she slipped in and closed the door softly.

Taking a look around, she noticed that the room had three very distinctive personalities. What was presumably Jack's part was fairly neat and looked like it hadn't been inhabited for a while, which was understandable considering his and Rachel's relationship. Shawn's was messy, dark and surprisingly sweet, as she noticed several pictures of the gang through the years. Eric's looked the youngest, with primary colors on the bedspread and a duck poster on the wall. Topanga looked on the floor and noticed the book that Rachel had seen earlier.

Picking the book off of the floor, she looked for a title and found none. She opened the book and saw the words _Hello. I'm Eric Matthews._ Interested, she read the short letter that was folded in the front page. When she got to the phrase that said, _I love you, Jack_ , she felt as if someone had hit her with a pillow. It didn't hurt, but it wasn't expected. She reread the letter, _noting you and Rachel make a better couple, anyway_ , and finally pausing on the last words. _Hello. I'm Eric Matthews. And you don't know me._

"I guess I don't, Eric," Topanga said softly.

Soon after, the party broke up. Topanga remained quiet on the way home.

"Something wrong, honey?" Cory asked, concerned.

She forced a smile, her thoughts still on what she had learned that night. "No, I just have a lot on my mind. Let me ask you something. How would you feel if someone you knew was... different?"

"Different how?"

Topanga hastened to explain. "Not really different, just maybe that you've known the person all of your life and you thought they were one way but they're really not and not that different is bad but you really don't know how to tell the person that you think its okay because you weren't supposed to know they were different in the first place."

Cory said, "Huh?"

"Sorry. I'm just stressing over something that's none of my business. Let's change the subject. I was considering doing an internship at a law firm this summer. This lawyer, Ari Wahlings, was telling me that her company has some openings and that she would put my name in for consideration."

"That's great!"

"Well, if I get it, I'll be settled, but what will you do? I know your dad wanted you to work in the store if Eric wouldn't."

"I'll get something. It doesn't matter anyway, because it'll only be for three months."

"Just don't stuck doing something you hate just because it's a job," Topanga cautioned.

"What kind of a ninny do you take me for?" Cory shouted indignantly. "I will find a good job. And I will be happy!" He shook his fist, causing some passers-by to look concerned.

"Honey, scaring people," Topanga murmured.

"Oh. Right." Cory put his arm down sheepishly.

As they continued on their way home, Topanga couldn't help wondering how the end of summer would find them.

 

"Jack, don't make this harder than it is."

Rachel sat on the couch, arms folded over her chest. Her eyes were downcast, and her body language seemed to be defensive.

"How can this not be hard? You're breaking up with me!" Jack stared at her in disbelief. Only last night they had been happy, sitting with friends and family, talking about good times. This came as a total shock to him.

"I'm not breaking up with you," Rachel explained patiently. "I just think we could use a break. I'm not even going to be here for three months. You can see other people."

"I don't want to see other people. I want to see you." Jack intended it to be a matter-of-fact statement, but to his ears, it came out sounding whiny.

"Well, when I get back, we'll pick up where we left off." She tried to pat his hand, but he jerked back like she had scorched him. A hurt look crossed her face. Seeing that, Jack softened and asked, "Just tell me why you want to take a break. I thought we were doing so well."

"It's not you, it's me." At Jack's expression, she said defensively, "It's not just a line! I just feel... I don't know, tired sometimes. And we like different things. Like I said, I think a break can help us evaluate how we really feel about each other."

Seeing that arguing was not going to accomplish anything, Jack said wearily, "If that's the way you feel, then I can't make you stay."

Rachel stood up. "Thank you. I didn't want to go home knowing you would be mad at me." She made a move as if to hug him, then thought better of it and picked up her suitcases. "See you in the fall, Jack."

"Bye, Rachel."

When the door closed behind her, Jack took one of the cushions off of the couch and began screaming into it. This is how Shawn found him five minutes later. When he saw his brother looking like he was trying to inhale the pillow, he said awkwardly, "I can come back at another time."

"No, no, that's okay," Jack said hastily. "Just releasing some pressure."

"And some girly screams. Everything alright?"

Jack said softly, "Rachel just dumped me."

"Oh man! Did she say why?"

"Just that she wanted some space. That was my line."

"Well, you've got the whole summer to find someone else if that's what you want. If I were you, I'd find someone tomorrow."

"Is that what you would do if Angela left you?" Jack questioned dryly.

"No, I'd blubber like an idiot and beg her to come back," Shawn admitted.

"Is that what I should do?"

"Nah. One thing I've learned about women, they do what they want. Maybe when she comes back she'll find out what she wanted was you," Shawn stated.

"Maybe," Jack said, cheering up. "Hey, got time before your plane leaves?"

"About an hour. Why?"

"You've only got an hour left and you're still at the apartment why?"

Shawn looked blankly at Jack. "I haven't packed."

 

Jack waved to Shawn and Angela as they boarded the flight. Cory and Topanga had wanted to be there, but their jobs wouldn't let them off. Which reminded him- he needed to start looking for a job himself. Even Eric was working at his father's store again this summer, and Cory had found a position as a printer's devil. He didn't know what it was, but he thought it sounded cool. And Topanga's job at the law firm was working out great- they had already offered her a permanent position effective when she graduated from college.

Which left him. Jack wasn't sure about what he wanted to do, but he was fairly certain about what he didn't want to do- anything messy, food-related, or that involved calling people around dinnertime. As he ambled through the airport, he thought idly about working with Mr Matthews and Eric. Then he stopped dead in his tracks and headed to a phone.

"Sure, we could use you, Jack. Apparently, people want to commune with nature more lately, so business is booming. Could you start tomorrow?"

"Certainly, sir."

"Mr Matthews will do. See you tomorrow."

Jack did a two-step in the airport. "Yes!"

 

Topanga massaged her feet. After a long day of filing, running reports to the various partners, and getting 800 copies at a time, her feet felt like someone had rubbed sandpaper on the soles of them. She looked at Cory for sympathy, but he was still trying to rub the ink out of his hands. "How was I to know that with this printing press you still have to set type? And always with the smearing of the ink!" Cory groused.

"Okay. Cory, why don't we go out for dinner? My feet are killing me too much to actually stand and cook."

"Let me look for some gloves." He began digging in the closet.

"Scratch that. We'll order in." She picked up the phone and it rang in her hand. Unnerved, she answered shakily, "Hello?"

"Hey, Pangers!"

"Hello, Eric. You've been lying low this summer."

"Yeah, the working and all. Anyway, Jack and I wanted to know if you wanted to go out tonight."

Just the thought of putting her shoes back on made her groan. "Why don't you come over here? We're ordering Chinese."

"Deal. See you at eight."

Topanga turned to Cory, who was now scrubbing furiously at a spot of ink on his chin.

"Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah, if I can resemble a real human in two hours, it'll be great!"

Two hours later, Eric and Jack showed up and were greeted by a turtleneck wearing Cory, who had pulled the sleeves over his hands.

"How've you two been?" Topanga asked, after everyone was greeted.

"Fine. The store is doing killer business." Jack replied.

"Yeah. Dad's even thinking of expanding into next door. The tenant moved out." Eric looked like he was about to say something else, but the doorbell rang, indicating the arrival of the food. As they dug in, Topanga studied Eric. He looked a little pensive to her critical eye. He had been quieter tonight than usual, but that could be due to tiredness as well as anything else. He certainly wasn't... mooning over Jack, or showing any outward sign that he was feeling anything other than friendship for Jack. Topanga noticed, though, that Eric was taking special care not to have any physical contact with him. When their hands accidentally touched, Eric jumped slightly while Jack seemed not to notice at all.

"Yeah, nothing like moo shu pork to make a man happy," Cory sighed, contented. He slumped over in his seat. Everyone moaned their agreement as they stretched comfortably into the old furniture.

"So, Eric, anything new with you?" Cory asked. Topanga started clearing away dishes, hoping that her long hair would cover her blush as she bent over. She went into the kitchen as Cory started kvetching about his job.

Jack came in carrying the last of the food. "Something wrong? You've been kind of quiet."

"No, no, I'm fine," she said rapidly. "How've you been doing? Are you and Rachel writing each other goopy letters?"

She saw the dark cloud pass over his face. "We broke up," he said briefly, and made it clear that he didn't want to discuss it further.

As he walked back into the living room, Topanga had a thought. Could they have broken up because of Eric's letter? She was pretty sure that Jack didn't know about it, but that didn't exclude Rachel. She decided that she would find out.

 

Rachel was walking down the streets of her old neighborhood with her younger sister, Leah. Leah was going into her sophomore year in high school, and she was telling Rachel about some of her friends and a boy she had a crush on. When they arrived home, her mother was holding a letter. "This is from Topanga Matthews. The envelope is marked 'urgent'. "

"I hope everyone's all right," Rachel said as she opened the letter. It was short and to the point.

Dear Rachel, I hope you are having a great summer. Never mind the 'urgent', I should have put 'immediate response' or something like that. Anyway, I need to know if you ever read a letter from Eric. Please call me when you receive this. Love, Topanga

"I wonder what's going on," Rachel said as she picked up the receiver. The phone rang briefly before a breathless Cory answered, "Hello?"

"Cory? Is Topanga there?"

"No, she's not off work yet. Do you want to leave a message?"

"Sure. Tell her Rachel said what letter from Eric? That's all. See you in August, Cory."

"See you, Rachel."

Cory sat down next to the phone and studied the message. Topanga hadn't mentioned a letter to him. Maybe it was a surprise for him. He sat smiling until Topanga came in from work in stocking feet, having already discarded her shoes.

"Rachel called and left a message." He kissed her before handing her the brief note. She frowned after she looked at it.

"What letter was she talking about, Topanga? Is there some secret that everyone knows except for me?" Cory asked jokingly.

Topanga sighed and said, "Cory, we need to talk. Do you remember how a couple of weeks ago I asked what would you do if someone you knew was different than what you thought?"

"Yeah, but I wanted to know different how?"

"I can't tell you how yet, but what if the person is Eric?"

Cory snorted. "Eric? How can Eric be different? He hasn't changed since he was born."

Topanga groaned in frustration. "That's exactly what I mean! He is different! And I shouldn't know, but I do!"

"Again, how is he different?"

"Haven't you noticed that he's been a little quieter than usual? And that he seems a little down?"

"People are entitled to be serious sometimes," Cory pointed out.

"Ever stop to think why? Eric's not the kind of person to just be down, unless he had something on his mind."

"That is true. But what?"

Topanga stood up. "Just remember that people change."

"O-kay," Cory said, but Topanga had already gone into the bedroom.

 

At that moment, the person they were discussing was attempting to take inventory in the back of his dad's shop. Instead, Eric pulled out his journal and after making sure no one was around wrote, _it's not working. I told myself that all I needed to do was to find a girl to take my mind off dangerous thoughts, but the ones who even look at me, I don't want. And the person that I want is moping for someone hundreds of miles away. Life sucks._

He returned the journal to his backpack and halfheartedly began counting tent pins. He had restarted his count three times when Jack poked his head in the storeroom.

"Hey buddy, ready for a break? Your dad said that right now might be a good time for lunch."

Eric stared at him for a second before he found his voice, the one he always used in public.

"Sure. Just let me finish hiding these pins I didn't count."

Jack chuckled and shut the door. Eric could hear him thinking, "Crazy old Eric, always screwing around."

Eric banged his head on the wall. Life did suck.

 

Topanga walked determinedly to the guys' apartment. "Why didn't I just do this at first? It's not in my nature to be secretive." She knocked three times. "I'll just be direct and firm." This psyching up of herself was almost beginning to work when Eric actually answered the door. He had to be staying up nights- there was a haggard look to his face and he had circles under his eyes. He also appeared thinner, which actually didn't look bad on him.

"Hey," he said tiredly. He didn't have the usual bounciness and energy that was his trademark.

"Hi. Um, I need to talk to you." He led her silently to the couch. She sat down awkwardly. "I did something on accident. I really didn't mean to... but it was right there, it's not like I was looking for it."

"Excuse me, but what are you talking about?"

She swallowed hard and blurted out," I read your letter."

He still looked blank, so she sighed and said, "The one that was in your journal."

His face darkened. "How did you see that?"

Topanga blinked. She had never heard so harsh a tone from Eric. "When we were over here last month, I stepped into your room, and I saw a book on the floor. It didn't have a title, so I opened it to see what it was. I didn't know what it was, honestly! I just saw the letter and read it. But I didn't read anything else," she finished in a rush.

"Who else did you tell?"

"No one, I swear! Unless they read it themselves, no one knows about this except for you and me."

Eric stood up and paced. "Why did you tell me?"

"Because... I wanted you to know that someone supports you. For whatever. I'm sorry if I didn't take you seriously in the past, but I know what it feels like to be different. Try being the child of radical feminist hippies and see how well you do in school. Cory and Shawn saw that I wasn't just a label- that I was a person, too. Eric, whatever you do, I'm here." She put her hands in her lap and waited.

Eric sat back down. "It's nice to know that I'm supported, but there's not a chance in hell that I'll be able to do anything about... how I feel."

"How do you know? You haven't talked to him, have you?"

"Do you think he even thinks about it? He still thinks of me as Eric the screw-up. And he doesn't act like..."

"Like what? Eric, I promise, if I hadn't read the letter for myself, I would be in the dark. And who says you have to act a certain way?"

"God, Topanga," Eric breathed, burying his face in his hands. "It's hard, it's really hard."

Topanga almost felt voyeuristic, sitting there while Eric took deep shuddering breaths. Finally she said, "Call me anytime if you feel like talking." She stood up and walked to the door.

"Eric, it's true. I don't know you. But I would like to."

She shut the door behind her, pretending not to hear the quiet sobs as she did so.

 

Jack came in the apartment. As usual, Eric had left the apartment right after they had gotten home. Jack was vaguely concerned, but thought that Eric just wanted to be left alone until whatever he was working through was solved. He shuffled through the mail, noting a letter from Shawn, and a couple of bills. He tossed the bills on the table before opening the letter. Like Shawn, it went right to the point. _Hope this finds you well. Having a great time. Angela sends greetings. Love, Shawn._ He smiled at the thought of his little brother, and then wandered into the bedroom.

As usual, the room looked schizophrenic. Shawn's part remained neat due to the fact that he wasn't there, and his, of course, was in its usual order. Only Eric's side had changed; instead of his usual posters, the walls were bare and the bedspread was a somber gray. Kinda like Eric these days, Jack mused. His glance fell on a corner of a book shoved hastily under the bed. He walked over and pulled out the journal that Jack had given him last year. Rachel had commented at the time that she thought that it was an odd choice for Eric, but he had been pleased. Jack was oddly happy to see that he still had it. Glad to know someone cares, he thought bitterly. Then he frowned as he thought of the last sentence. Something was niggling in his brain, and he couldn't think hard enough to shake the thought. He opened the small book to see if Eric actually wrote in it.

A passage caught his eye. _The ones that want me I don't want, and the person I want is moping for someone hundreds of miles away._

A trickle of ice slid down Jack's back. He shakily put the book back where he found it and lay down on his bed. He had a strong suspicion of who the person was, and instead of creeping him out or making him angry, the idea kind of... made sense to him. He remembered a long forgotten memory, when he had first moved in with Eric. They had stayed up all night, talking and getting to know each other. During that night, Jack had wondered briefly what it would be like to kiss Eric. He had quickly dismissed the thought, counting it as an aberration. Didn't everyone wonder sometimes? But he knew he did care about Eric, and that was why he could get on his nerves sometimes. And in high school, he had realized that he looked at guys a little differently than most of his friends.

Jack sat up. He was ready to talk about this, even if it meant that they would be taking their friendship into dangerous territory.

 

Eric came in two hours later. Jack knew this, because he had been staring aimlessly at the clock, wondering where Eric always disappeared to after work. He had assumed that he was off goofing off somewhere, but Jack wasn't so sure. He remembered whenever he had a crush on someone, he found it hard to even be in the same room with them without wanting to, at the least, say something. But he had a feeling that this was no mere crush.

Jack got off of the bed and went into the living room, where Eric had stretched out on the couch. Apparently, he wasn't sleeping much at night anymore and his face showed it. Jack sat down on the opposite side, playfully shoving Eric's legs out of the way. He watched as Eric reacted as if he had been shocked. "Eric, man, we need to talk. You've been kinda avoiding me the last few weeks; did I do something to upset you?"

Eric shook his head and started to get up. Jack gripped his forearm and tugged him gently back down. "I'm not going to let you walk away until you tell me what's wrong!"

"You really don't have a choice," Eric said flatly. He stood up and walked into the bedroom and slammed the door. Waiting a moment out of indecision, he followed him in there and stood still in the door. Eric was on his bed, crying. Jack was shaken- the only other time he had seen Eric cry was when Josh was born premature. He walked over to Eric's bed and touched his back softly. He was surprised when the simple contact left him trembling. 'I'm really going to do this', he thought as

Eric turned over. His eyes were still red and swollen, but he was no longer actively crying.

"Can't I have privacy in my own room?" Eric asked bitterly. His eyes roamed the room, focusing on everything else except for Jack.

"Look, we have to talk about this right now, because I won't have the nerve later." Looking confused at those last words, Eric let him continue.

"Man, I'm going to come on out and say it. Please don't hate me and don't interrupt, okay? Today, when we came home from work and you left, I went into the bedroom. I saw your journal on the floor." As Eric's face gathered storm clouds, Jack held up a warning hand and continued, "I really just opened it to see if you were using it, that's all. Anyway, I saw something in there that sounded familiar. I wanted you to see something." Jack pulled out a neatly folded paper out of his back pocket. "After you read that, I'll be in the living room if you want to talk."

Jack got up and left. He sat nervously on the couch, in anticipation. What if he had been wrong? He would feel really stupid.

He didn't have to wait long. He heard the door to the bedroom close and then Eric was sitting on the couch, closer than they usually sat. Jack looked at him, waiting.

"You too?" Eric still looked serious, but his face was no longer a mass of clouds.

Jack sighed in relief. His whole body turned into a boneless mass. "Ever since I moved in."

"And you never said anything!"

"What, like you weren't the poster boy for keeping secrets!"

"I had a good excuse. You were in a relationship by the time I realized what I was feeling."

Jack thought about that. "Well, it's a good thing I'm not now, isn't it?" He surprised himself by reaching over and grabbing Eric's hand. For a long time, or no time at all, they sat there, just smiling at each other, calmly happy.

"You know what?" Eric shifted to sit closer to Jack. "I know this might sound stupid, but I think this whole thing was like bittersweet chocolate."

"Not following you," Jack said. He also scooted closer, so that they were sitting with their hips touching. He laid his head on Eric's shoulder.

"Well, when you eat it, it's kinda sweet, but there's enough bite to let you know that it's not totally what you want. I liked being around you..."

"Liked!" Jack poked a finger into Eric's ribs.

"But it was hard seeing you with Rachel."

"New subject!" Jack shouted, holding up a hand.

"The only other subject I can think of is, where do we go from here? Not to sound clichéd', but I need to know where this is going."

"I don't know. I don't know anything! But I'll think we'll figure out together."

 

Topanga came in, happy to be off for the weekend. She was almost looking forward to school starting in another month or so, because they were determined to kill her at this job. She was busily rubbing her abused toes when the phone rang. Groaning, she walked over and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Topanga. This is Eric."

She was surprised. Not only had he used her given name, he sounded serious, although not harsh as he had the last time he had spoken to her.

"I wanted to tell you... thanks."

"What did I do?" she wondered.

"Um, we talked yesterday."

She was about to ask, who's we, but then she remembered. "Oh. How did it go?"

"It went fine. We're taking things slow." Even though the statement was said calmly, she could hear his smile over the phone. "Tell you what- we want to have you and Cory over for dinner. Soon."

"That's doable. Do you want me to try to, you know, soften Cory up?"

"I don't think he'll need it."

"I don't know," Topanga said doubtfully. "He's not really one for the surprises."

"Well, let's try next Saturday and see what happens." Then Topanga heard shuffling noises in the background and Eric said, "Yes, we do have those in stock, ma'am. Do you need anything else?"

"Eric! You are so bad. See you on Saturday."

"Anytime ma'am," he laughed.

 

Jack was debating on shirts. "Red or black?" He held up his choices for Eric to pick.

Eric, who was wearing his usual outfit of jeans and a ribbed top, said, "They are not going to care based on the color of your shirt."

"I'm trying to stack the deck here! I'm going with black. It's safer."

Eric laughed and went back into the living room and grabbed another handful of chocolate chips. He was popping the last few into his mouth when Jack walked out of the bedroom. He was wearing black chinos and the red shirt.

"It will be fine," Eric insisted, as he went over to Jack. He kissed him softly.

After they separated, Eric murmured, "You taste like sunshine."

"You taste like chocolate." After a pause, Jack said, "Well, that was pretty mushy."

"Yes. Yes it was." They grinned at each other until Jack realized what he had just said. "Eric, you haven't been eating the chocolate chips again, have you? They're for the dessert!"

"Like they'll notice how many chips are on top of the pudding. Go ahead, finish getting ready, I'll set the table."

After he had put the food into serving dishes, the doorbell rang. Cory and Topanga were standing there, holding a bottle of sparkling cider.

"Hi. Um, have a seat. How was work today?"

"Good. Tiring. A little bit of both." Topanga sighed and unconsciously looked at her feet. "My feet hate me now."

"And I hate ink!" Cory said cheerfully. Ever since he had invested in a pair of kitchen gloves, his job had gotten easier.

"How about you, Eric? Everything okay?"

"Everything's great." Topanga could tell that he really meant that. He looked well rested and content.

"What's taking Jack so long?" Cory wondered. "Not that I'm not enjoying talking to you, but I'm starving."

"I'll get him," Topanga said before Eric could get up. She dashed back and knocked on the door before entering. Jack was standing in front of the mirror, still trying to decide between the two shirts.

"I like the red," Topanga said quietly. He swung around. "I'm sorry. I thought you heard me knock."

"It's okay. Being scared is good for the heart."

She smiled, then grew serious as she said, "Jack, I know."

"You can tell already?" He grew even more nervous.

"No. Remember when we were over here before school ended? I found Eric's journal then and read something in there. I just told him I knew three weeks ago. And he told me after you two had talked."

"You're not... disapproving?"

"No. I have to say, I was surprised, but the more I thought about it, it made sense. And I'm glad. Now come on out. Cory is threatening to eat the tablecloth." He smiled at that and followed her out.

Dinner was pleasant. Eric and Jack had ordered a broiled chicken with sides and made chocolate pudding for dessert. Everyone ate heartily, and after dinner, they sat on the couch and made small talk. Finally Eric cleared his throat and said, "Enough stalling. We have something to tell you."

"Can I guess?" Cory said excitedly.

"I doubt it," Jack said dryly.

"You guys are getting a different apartment."

"No, we like this one." Eric shifted a little closer to Jack. Cory didn't notice, but Topanga did.

"Um, is it good news or bad news?"

"Depends on your perspective." Jack, too, scooted closer.

"Well, that didn't help at all," Cory muttered.

Just then, the lights flickered and then went out. "Man, the heat must be messing with the generators. Just stay put- they'll probably come back on in a second." In the dim light of the room, Jack got up and started looking for a flashlight. When he found it and turned it on, it produced a dim light that slowly faded. "Eric, any chance you might have used this last?"

"Oh yeah. I needed to look under my bed for something. I think I fell asleep with it on. But I did turn it off when I woke up," Eric added helpfully.

"You are such a nut," Jack groaned. He sat back on the couch. Eric took his hand as they sat there.

"Okay, Cory, one more guess. Then I'm telling you." Eric stole a kiss from Jack.

"Let me get everything straight. This is something new?"

"Yes," they said in unison.

"It involves the two of you. Anyone else?"

"Not really." Jack kissed Eric back.

"And it could be either good or bad news."

"Yes." This time, the kiss was longer and they were panting by the time it was done.

"Does anyone else know?"

"Yes."

"Do I know the other person?"

"Very well."

"Is it Topanga?"

"Yes, it's me, Cory. But before you get all 'I can't believe you didn't tell me', it's not my place to tell other people's business."

"Fair enough. Okay. Are you two..."

As he was speaking, the lights came back on, catching a very surprised Jack and Eric in the middle of a lip lock.

"I was not going to say together, but that's going to be my guess now." Cory's eyes had widened to dinner plates.

"Are you about to freak?" Eric asked.

"Eric, I support you. You support me. That's what brothers do. However, that does not mean that I don't have any questions."

Everyone groaned.

"I really just have one. Does this mean that, you know, you're in love?"

"I don't know if I'm in love," Eric said. "I don't have any comparison to say yes, definitely, or no, definitely. I just know that I'm happy."

"Me too." Jack smiled.

"Good."

 

"Were you surprised, when you found out?" Cory asked Topanga. They were sitting in their living room, discussing the events of the day.

"Yes. I mean, did you expect that? But, it's okay."

"I hope everyone else feels the same way."

 

"Boys, you've really worked hard this summer. I don't know what I would have done without you. Jack, you'll be welcome back this winter, if you're here."

Jack and Eric exchanged glances. They had already agreed that this would be Eric's time to have Jack over for break. They weren't sure that Mr Matthews would be so happy after their announcement.

"Eric, see you Sunday." Mr Matthews clasped their shoulders and walked off.

"How do you think he'll react?" Jack said as soon as Mr Matthews was out of earshot.

"Fine, I hope." Eric was biting his lip, a nervous reaction.

"Well, I guess that it's your night to fix dinner."

Eric brightened. "Could we have Italian? There's a great new place that delivers."

"Deal. What about dessert?"

"I'll take care of dessert."

 

Rachel was on the plane. Her whole summer was spent pining for Jack, and although neither of them wrote or called, she was sure that their relationship would pick up where they left off. She had decided to get a job in town, to be close to him while they both attended graduate school. She tried calling before she was on the plane, but the line was busy. She figured that she would just call a cab to take her to the apartment. Her flight would land at 6:00pm.

 

Shawn and Angela were on the plane. They were happy, but exhausted, having toured most of London during their stay there. Also, Angela and her father had a better relationship since they had patched up their differences. And he liked Shawn, which was a big plus. They were already discussing going back there the next summer. They called the apartment, and told Jack that their flight was landing at 6:15pm. He agreed to pick them up, and told them that he had an important announcement. They were trying to guess what it was.

"Do you think he and Rachel got back together?" Angela asked. She was snuggled in Shawn's arms, looking up at him.

"Nah. After what she did, I'd be surprised if they even were nice."

"All she said was that she wanted to take a break. She didn't kill his firstborn. Anyway, didn't he say that it could be good news or bad? And Rachel and him would be to the good. So, I'm going to say that it's going to be something that was in front of our face that we couldn't see."

"Okay, what?"

"Something that was there all the time, but wasn't obviously visible."

"I can go with that. But I can't wait to find out."

 

"Are you sure that you want to come with me to the airport?"

"We might as well get this over with." Eric was slipping into one of his usual ribbed shirts.

"Is that how you think about it? Just 'getting it over with'?"

"No, but I wish we didn't have to announce it like it's something different. Tell you what, let's not tell them - let's show them." Eric grinned wickedly.

"Our first PDA? Cool."

"We'd better hurry. We still have to meet Cory and Topanga."

 

Cory, Topanga, Eric, and Jack waited impatiently. Even with their stalling, they still made it to the airport with time to spare. They had already checked and seen that the flight was on time. At the moment, they were standing in line at a coffee bar behind at least 20 people who weren't together.

"Okay. I'll think I'll get an espresso." Topanga said, shifting her weight on either foot.

"I'm thinking that's too much coffee. I'm getting cafe mocha with chocolate chips." Eric was standing on tiptoe, trying to count the people in front of them.

"Semisweet?" Jack asked knowingly. They exchanged a private glance.

Topanga, intercepting it, said, "You guys are already doing that private joke thing. It took Cory and me until forever to do that." She nudged Cory in the ribs for emphasis.

"Ow! I'm getting a hot chocolate."

"In August?"

"What, you think they'll freeze your orders? I want cocoa!"

"I'm just having plain coffee," Jack announced.

"Whatever floats your boat," Cory said. "Just for the record, how many times did Shawn write to you? I got one."

"Me too," Jack said.

"I didn't get one from him, but Angela wrote about once a week." Topanga looked smug.

"I didn't get any!" Eric did a fake pout as everyone patted and 'poor baby'd him.

As they got to the cashier and finally ordered, Jack looked at his watch. "Guys, it's like 6:10 now. Do you want to run ahead to the concourse and I could bring you the coffee?"

"Nah. By the time we get there, they'll be just landing."

As it was, they didn't get to the right gate until 6:20. Fortunately, the airport let seniors and families deplane first, so everyone had time to finish their coffees before greeting their friends.

 

Rachel was in a foul mood, due to the fact that no cabs seemed to be around for miles. She went back inside to find a phone to try the apartment again when she thought she spotted Cory's curly head. Sure it was him sitting at a gate, she headed purposefully to the gate. As he got closer, she could see that Topanga, Jack, and Eric were all sitting there. She could see that they were all laughing and talking as they stood up and greeted Shawn and Angela. She stood and watched as everyone hugged. She wondered briefly if anyone was talking about her or thinking about her absence. Then, as she began walking forward again, she saw Jack and Eric take a step back, have a brief conversation, and then reach for each other's hand before stepping back in.

She never saw how anyone else in the group reacted, because suddenly her eyes were full of tears. Unmindful of the fact that there were other people in the airport, or that she herself was carrying a ton of luggage, she ran away from the airport and the fact that the man that she thought was her boyfriend was seeing another man.

Later, after she had hailed a cab, went to the apartment and realized that she didn't want to go in there, Rachel sat down in the student union. She belatedly realized that since she wasn't a student at Pennbrooke anymore, then she probably shouldn't be there, but she couldn't think of anywhere else to go. Then she thought of someone she knew in town that she knew had an extra bed.

"Angela? It's me, Rachel."

 

"I just wanted to look at you, one more time."

Topanga grabbed another tissue. "Oh, this is the best part!" She watched at the man on the screen slowly walked into the ocean to dramatic music.

Cory opened one sleepy eye. "Is it over yet?"

"No! How can you sleep through this movie? It's a true classic!"

"I like it," Eric volunteered. He was cradling a sleeping Jack, who was turned away from the screen. "And not because of Judy Garland either."

"I have kind of a personal question for you," Topanga said, turning away from the TV and toward Eric. "Before you knew that you liked Jack, did you, you know, look at other men?"

He sucked in his breath. "Boy, you really know what to ask. I can't really say I was going down the street, saying to myself, shake it hotcakes! I just looked at him one day and said, here's someone that I like. And I didn't think of gender."

"Do you notice now?"

"Do you?"

"Yeah, I notice if someone's attractive, but I don't think, wow, I want some of that. And I think I just answered my own question." She turned her attention back to the movie.

After the credits rolled, Topanga and Eric awoke their respective partners and stood up themselves. "This was fun. I know all of us will be busy, but we have to keep movie night." Topanga slipped back into her shoes.

"Can we," Jack said, gesturing to the men, "pick the movie next time?"

"Sounds fair. Tell Shawn that we said bye." Shawn, due to his body still being on London time, had stayed up as long as he could in order to get back to normal, but when the movie had hit the two hour mark without even being close to being over, he had called it a night.

"Will do. See you later."

Eric walked into the bedroom where Shawn was already asleep. He and Jack had gotten used to staying up late and talking (and sometimes canoodling), and it was weird to be quiet and try to do everything with the light off. He pulled out his journal and wrote a quick note. _I'm happy._

 

The sunlight was streaming in the room by the time that Rachel woke up. Confused momentarily by her surroundings, she stood up and walked to the window, feeling the heat of August through the glass. Then she remembered the previous day's events and crawled back into bed, with her head under the pillows.

In the next bed, Angela turned over and sat up. Her usual impeccable hair was sticking up in tufts. "Are you awake?" she croaked.

"I think so."

"I'm not," she muttered. "Give me an hour or three, and we'll talk." She flopped back over, leaving Rachel alone with her thoughts. The night before, instead of asking any questions, Angela had explained that she was suffering severe jet-lag, and instead of trying to stay awake to correct to the local time, she was going to sleep until her body was satisfied. She had told Rachel that she was free to stay as long as she needed. For that, she was grateful. She couldn't stay in that apartment anymore, knowing that Jack, for all of his cries of 'please don't leave me', had rebounded as soon as her back was turned by the least possible person.

She thought of anyone else she could talk to in town. Then she shot up in the bed, remembering Topanga's letter to her. She quietly slipped on a robe and went to a payphone. This time, Topanga answered.

"Topanga? Hi, this is Rachel."

"Rachel? Hi! When did you get back in town?"

"Last night," she said flatly.

"What a coincidence! We picked up Shawn and Angela from the airport last night. It's a wonder that we didn't bump into each other."

"Yes, a wonder," Rachel said dryly. "Look, I really need to talk to you. When would be a good time?"

"I have to go to register for classes today, but before I'm free. Actually, right now is the best time that I have."

"Do you want to meet at the student union? In about 15 minutes?"

"Sounds good. If I run a little late, don't leave, okay? I have to tell Cory."

"All right."

Rachel hung up, scribbled a note to Angela, threw on some clothes, and went to the student union. Topanga actually entered right behind her.

"Hi! I was sure I was going to be late, but... oh, I'm really glad to see you!" Topanga hugged Rachel, not noticing the strangled look on her face. After they separated and sat down, Topanga said, "So what did you want to talk about?"

"I was at the airport last night." At Topanga's blank look, she explained, "I saw you there."

"And you saw Jack and Eric." It wasn't a question.

"My thing is, did everyone know that my boyfriend was gay? Or at the very least, bisexual? Because I thought..."

Topanga patted her arm. "This came as a surprise to all of us. There wasn't anything to know until a couple of weeks ago."

"Did you know when you wrote me the letter?"

"This conversation is starting to get into 'other people business'," Topanga said, complete with air quotes. "I think that you should talk to Jack to get the whole story." She stood up. "Well, I have to go. Rachel, don't be mad at anyone. As far as any of us knew, you and Jack were finished as a couple. You were the one that suggested that you two see other people."

"How did you know that?" Rachel said suspiciously.

"Well, Jack told Shawn, who told Cory, who told me. But that's not the point! Talk to Jack. He doesn't even know that you're back in town yet, does he?" At Rachel's head shake, she added, "I would try to reach him now, before he heads out. Bye, Rachel."

As Topanga walked out, Rachel made her second call of the day.

A sleepy voice answered. "Hello?"

"Shawn? Is that you?"

"It's me. Who's this?"

"This is Rachel. Is Jack around?"

"Yeah. Hold on."

She heard muffled voices in the background, followed by a loud yawn. Then she heard a different voice say, "This is Jack."

"This is Rachel."

"Oh. Hi." He sounded flat, or worse, indifferent. In her heart, she had been hoping that he would start begging her to come back as soon as he heard from her.

"Um, I need to talk to you. As soon as possible."

"Are you in town? When did you get back?"

"Look, I'll tell you all the details, but I have to see you."

"Um, okay." He put down the phone and she could hear a brief whispered conversation. Then he picked back up and said, "Okay. Come by the apartment when you're ready. I have class, so come early."

"Okay. Bye."

She was knocking on the door in five minutes, fear and anger having propelled her faster than anything. A surprised Jack answered the door.

"Come in. How was your summer?"

She found herself answering calmly. "Nice. And yours?"

"Enlightening. Um, what did you need to talk about?"

"I got back in town last night. Around 6:00pm. I had called here, but the line was busy. I saw you guys. And I saw you and Eric holding hands." She sat back, waiting on Jack to say something like 'it wasn't what it looked like'.

Instead, he sighed, and said, "I wanted to tell you in person."

"How were you going to tell me? Hey Rach, hope you had a good summer, and I'm going out with Eric now! I must be the stupidest girl in the world!" She got up and started pacing. "My boyfriend, who was saying in May how he couldn't live without me, turned around and started seeing someone else as soon as I left! And Eric, no less!"

Jack, angry now, said, "That's uncalled for. You broke up with me! It wasn't like I was the one dumping you. And Eric doesn't deserve to be insulted by you."

"I didn't break up with you! And I never even dated the whole summer! I was coming back to be with you."

"You have a weird way of showing it. No letters, no phone calls, but I'm just supposed to wait for you like a frickin' nun."

"I did! All I want to know is, did you know about this the whole time we were together? Did you really want a man instead of me?"

Jack winced. "No! I didn't know consciously, not until a couple of weeks ago. I can promise, when I was with you, I wanted to be with you."

"I don't understand how you can go from being with me and watching the Playboy channel to being gay! It doesn't make sense!"

"I didn't change! It's not like I woke up and said, 'gay now! Only gay!' I just fell in love with someone who happened to be Eric." Realizing what he had just said, he sat up straight on the couch and a big grin appeared on his face. "I'm sorry, Rachel. If you had written or something once this summer, things would be a lot different right now. But I'm glad you didn't now."

Understanding what he meant, Rachel sighed and said, "I know this is the part where I'm supposed to say, I understand and support you. I'm not quite at that stage yet. I'm staying at Angela's if you need to reach me."

"All right. Bye, Rachel."

"Bye, Jack."

She walked out the door, realizing that she was in a town away from home for a man that she was no longer seeing. She went back to Angela's apartment, where Angela was just waking up.

"Did you want to talk now?" She asked softly.

"There's nothing to talk about. They're happy, I'm miserable, and it's my own fault. I don't think I'm staying here now."

"You know you're welcome to."

"I mean, in town. I could go back home. My parents wanted me to go to graduate school at home anyway. And I could recover." Rachel began repacking the few things she had taken out of the suitcases last night.

"You mean that you're leaving right now?"

"The sooner the better. Tell everyone that I'll be in touch, please."

"Are you sure about this?"

Rachel squared her shoulders. "Yes."

 

Jack flew home from class that day. He had something to say to Eric, and he wanted to say it as soon as possible. When he got to the apartment, he turned the lock in a hurry and let himself in.

Shawn was sitting on the couch, watching something on TV. "Hey," he greeted his brother.

"Hey. Finally get rested?"

"Can't sleep anymore if I tried," Shawn said. "Want to watch this?" On the screen, two Claymation characters were beating each other senseless.

"No thanks. I already know who wins."

"Okay." Shawn turned his attention back to the screen.

"Is Eric here yet?"

"Yeah, he's in the bedroom." As Jack turned to go into there, Shawn said, "Don't forget to put a tie on the doorknob."

"Now, why would I ..." Jack thought about it and blushed. "Will do." As he walked into the bedroom, he thought briefly that he was glad that Shawn had taken his news so calmly. All he had said was that Angela had said that it was something in front of their faces, so that he was expecting something like that.

Eric was sitting on his bed, writing furiously. When he saw Jack standing in the door, he smiled.

"Writing about me again?" Jack asked, sitting on the foot of Eric's bed.

"No, not this time. How was class?"

"You know, I have no idea. Ask me why."

"Okay. Why?"

"Because I realized two things when I was talking to Rachel this morning. Don't interrupt," he said, seeing Eric's face. "One, I'm glad that she broke up with me, for obvious reasons." He and Eric stretched out on the bed.

"And what was the second?"

"I'm in love with you." Unable to wait any longer, he kissed Eric, slowly. When they finally parted, Eric said, "How did you know?"

"I told Rachel. It's funny, because I loved you, if not knowingly, a long time. Once you love someone, falling in love with them is easy." They kissed again, and this time, they didn't stop until Shawn walked in the room to get a book.

"Oh! My eyes! This is why I told you to put the tie on the door." Deliberately keeping his back to them, Shawn left in a hurry.

"I'm thinking that Shawn is getting his own bedroom." Jack laughed.

"Soon. Very soon," Eric agreed. Then he turned to Jack and said, "I'm in love with you too."

"REALLY!" Eric socked him with a pillow.

"So, I guess the answer to where do we go from here is, here."

"Well stated, if confusing."

"Enough talking. More kissing."

So they did, in the brightness that is summer.

END

**Author's Note:**

> Aw, my first slash story! SO pwecious! (Okay, ew. Too sweet even for me.) Seriously, many, many thanks to Tune Youg for her original permission to respond to "Hello. I'm Eric Matthews." which is the letter that Topanga reads and the story that sent me into a writing frenzy, letting me get this and its two sequels out within a month. Those are powerful words!  
> I usually compose my stories to songs. In addition to the story stated above, the inspiration to this story is "Stuck in the Moment" by U2, and "Superman" by Five for Fighting. I feel the songs are appropriate because once you are trapped in a certain mold, it's hard to break out of it.


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